she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
