remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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