Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize