I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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