We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
