I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
