Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize