neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
