I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize