she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
