Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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