HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
