I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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