come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize