Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
