y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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