Jerry, you need to find god
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
