if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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