Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize