Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
