Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
