idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize