We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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