Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think I sprained my soul last night
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize