TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
