Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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