I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
