and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
