Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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