Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
