is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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