Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
