Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
