she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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