Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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