i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
