I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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