I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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