The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
