how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I want her autograph on my taint
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This baby is an asshole
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
