there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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