Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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