is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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