he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize