Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
