Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize