Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Can you bring me the toilet please
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
