you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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