Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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