Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
