so explain again why im purple
no
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
