either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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