I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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