I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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