i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
