I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
