I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
how drunk are you?
Several
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
