I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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