My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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