The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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