we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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