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i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize