i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
where are my eyebrows?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
