i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
