That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
