Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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