That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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