Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
