Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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