Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
