Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
